Nothing is more refreshing then getting to Sainsburys at GOD AWFUL AM and STILL getting stuck in a queue!

But that was the least of my morning, this is the best:

A man is cleaning the windows of the local post office, as he’s employed to do.  Useless post office staff forget to lock in the top window, man washes window and it opens, alarm sounds, man continues regarless awaiting the police.  15 minutes go by, man still cleaning and waiting, 20 minutes now.

As I pass him for the second time he says to me “that thing has been going for the last 20 minutes!” to which I reply “Ha!  Serves them right for not closing it properly!” man chuckles, then WOOOOP WOOOOOOP WOOOOOOOOP one police car, WOOOOOOOOOP WOOOOOOOOOP WOOOOOOOP two police cars.  Yes kids, 20 minutes after the post office is entered by a window washing device the rozzers show up and they’re only based a mile away.

The poor chap had to explain to four officers of DA LAW what happened as I left (and avoided the pathetic excuse the police call parking) to trundle up to Sainsburys.  That made my day.  As did this:

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No seriously, this is all this post is about.  I am tired, therefore I must attempt the act of sleep.

Seriously, don’t mess with me you bastards, I’ll get the dog to kill you mofo.

Bah, what a nightmare (literally), there I was having a perfectly normal dream then my stupid brain has to do something horrible.  Oh yes, moments a past, it’s been nearly ten years since what I envisioned and it’s still annoyingly open wound like.  This is exactly why I can’t be bothered with human emotion, it takes far too much time plus it makes you do crap that you’d otherwise ignore.  Damn you to hell brain, for I shall teach you!

Yeah, thanks Facebook, keep me informed with the obvious will you?

Yesterday, in a somewhat drunken state, I kind of parted with £70 of my not-so hard earned cash by registering for the course I’ve been meaning to do for quite some time now.  Yes folks, for I am partaking in “Russian for Beginners”, only because that’ll make me popular and trendy for being able to swear in more than one language.  Plus I reckon knowing the language helps you not get robbed blind when visiting non-english speaking nations.  Saying that, I nearly got myself shot in Canada for mistakenly busting up a crack dealer mid flow in a transaction, so it’s hard to determine if my statement is indeed factually correct.

I have also, with much supprise, managed to FINALLY get a god damn ogg vorbis file to work on my god for saken trend setting blasphemous mac, now I can even stream the fcuking things, HOO YEAH MOFO, if ogg vorbis files were ass, I’d be tappin it.

Now carry on, I’ve got some catch up on the facial book.

This is what redeems the germans.

Nothing more than sitting in front of a computer burning your retnas out like you haven’t been doing ALL DAY LONG already. However, this evening has been somewhat of a geek success.

I got another VPS running for the love of all that is holy, it’s now taken over the role of email bitch. My dear sputnik sits there, receiving, filtering and hosting the blessed Кевин Newportal (which you can access from your news client news://nntp.kevin.net.ua/) also the BBS’s mail is flowing through it as well.  Graciously I’ve got my old mail server running which archives all the email in a not-so-friendly database, so I shall never lose anything (much like google but less creepy).  I’m overjoyed.

Today I found myself in a state of constant stress today, which on it’s own isn’t too nice. But from the same token it makes for a rather amusing day listening to some of my scathing remarks on people.

For this reason I need to obtain a photoshoped picture of Tyra Banks (which i will frame) as the virgin mary and a caption of what would tyra do? and then it would equal even more dangerously funny sayings.

Also in the end I bought the teacup alarm clock. Yay!

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