If ray mears had better teeth and was alot more fit i’d civil partnership him. That’s real man material.

Gwen Stephanie annoys me with her faux japanese entourage. Somebody slap that bitch with her lamb.

Seriously, you don’t realise how glad i’m to hear that belgium’s political system is in a mess. I thought i was going mad. Oddest best news i’ve had all day!

My phone has aids, it keeps on crashing like an american on an irish motorway.

I’ve just received my three bill. It’s just funny, you can tell when my phone stopped working. Also i’m liking rice with soy sauce as a meal on it’s own. Tasty

I’ve just received my three bill. It’s just funny, you can tell when my phone stopped working. Also i’m liking rice with soy sauce as a meal on it’s own. Tasty

You do realise that i’ve successfully managed to have an instant noodle cup soup

You know you’re my ghetto booty, so get out there and sell it! I’m a pimp not your girlfriend.

Holla at you homies.