I’ve been quite silent on this weblog for sometime now and all you people have had to read is twitters, links from del.ici.ous and the occasional photo off ShoZu which craps out if you put too much text in to it.

But now you can rejoyce, this is the first DAY I’ve had to myself in the homestead to think, clean and watch television whilst rubbing one off to columbo! This post might be insightful, it might not be but it’s going to happen now so relax OR ELSE.

The first thing I should update you on is my new job promotion to Accident Management which should be fun. This will be as of 07.04.08 so it’s all cool in the school. I will also get internets access so I may possibly update from there if I can (cos work is the only place I’m at now days).

But all is not good in my life, granted all I do is work now, it pays off but at the same time it diverts my attention from my life, which is pretty much in dire need of attention now.

Mostly because I’ve started the process of attraction with a smart, sexy, crazy and completely closed book of a guy at work. He’s great, I love the guy, I can’t even put in to words how much this is the case.

He says he’s straight, he says he’s done this that and the other but my god his body language does not even remotely correspond to what he says, which is what is making my life so shit right now.

Over the last two to three weeks I have been seriously considering what I need to do about him, because I don’t want to put myself in to a position I can’t get out of emotionally, but now it’s far too late for this I’ve stepped beyond this point and I’m now completely falling for him.

The problem with this is we get on like a house on fire, in fact, we’ve taken the street down with us. But each time he’s got to say I’m not gay or a story about shagging a woman or something. Which I then have to back off a bit. But I don’t know what to do, I’m stuck here. He says one thing and reacts in a completely different way. Why do I pick people like this? What is up with me? PLZ XPLAIN INTERNETS?!

I will need to have a bit of a sit down, think about everything and just go for it. What’s the worst that can happen? I lose, essentially, somebody who is so completely like me in all respects if he never wants to speak to me again. Being gay I can accept, in fact it’s been good fun, but times like these, it makes you realise how shit it really is.

I enjoyed my saturday, granted that I only got 3 hours before I had to get up again and that I did my laundry during that time and it didn’t even dry correctly so I had to, as expected, hang it all over the control centre to dry out (imagine my pants flung over monitors and desks). I discovered on friday evening that I was working the saturday morning AND the afternoon so I was a bit pissed off to say the least. But I got over it.

At 17.00 I finished work, had a shower here (their council tax now includes me as a permanent resident) then off to the horror that was Sainsburys on mothers-day eve to buy lagers AND pro-plus (cos I was hanging out me arse). Headed over to Matt’s to meet up with Pretty Craig and go out for the evening.  It was all good drank far too much at Matt’s, Speedpeedoed a Stella until I couldn’t take it as the blasphemous thing was well nasty!  We then headed out in to town, I think that’s when it all went down hill.  I made a point of getting properly bollox’d cos I had to be in work for 0900 to show the rest up!

I think in that evening I bought everybody drinks all night cos I ended it on the following day with only £5.35 to my name and I had ALOT more than that to hand.  So my budget is well blown to bits.

Anyways, back to the story at hand, we suddenly then went in to Melksham (about 10 miles away) I made an arse of myself and we taxi’d back to Craig’s pad to end off the evening.  At that point it kind of got a bit emo and I spent most of the evening crying which I find is well cool when you’re in the presence of other people.

I woke up the following morning and looked at my phone for the time and decided “I’m going to be sick” and barged through Craig’s room to the toilet to do just that.  Ace.

Then walked in to work, hanging, had my shower and started my 30 hour shift. Joy.

… until 0.00 this evening when I get back in I feel like a drink.  Mmmm alcoholic beverages.

But I don’t have any lager

I can’t get to sleep without my music but my iPod died out when I started to play my music. Understand my annoyance with the bloody thing.

Apple I will seek revenge!!!!!!!!!!!

Although I wonder why I’m blaming apple really, it is after all not their fault my battery went flat.

… to the most boring affair to take place EVER.  We got a bit interested in two cars at the end of the estate sitting there doing nothing at all.

So zoomed in the camera to find that one man and lady were in the car acting a bit suspicious. 

I can understand Turbo eating the job and shitting it all over the place, that’s fine, I’m down with that.  What I can’t understand is somebody going in there after it and saying “HAY I AUTHOTISE” to the agent when there ain’t shit all there.

Common sense?  I haven’t seen her in ages…..

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25 incoming calls, totalling no more than 30 minutes.
8 internal incoming calls.
100 outbound calls totalling no more than 2h35
1 lost call
18 refused (in busy wrap up)
1h spent out of group.

Of my pie 50% was outbound.

This is what I did today at work, 50 calls is dire.  25 is DESPERATE.  I nearly had a total meltdown today and I screamed at my bank “SO NATWEST AS MY FUCKING BANK CAN’T DO SHIT?  FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!” and I’m  well up for a fight as well.  I also called norwich union.  I have to look over my statement before I start that fight as well, but a lovely ady left a comment on my EL JAY so I’ll pop her a quick note (rather than fight).

But basically it’s been a shit day, big style.

I gots an AIM this morning:

Thank you for taking the internet too seriously, did you really thinksending me an AIM would make me see some inner light and cry over oprah then go out and making babies as fast as I could because I “ohhcheygoochey wuvvuy baaaaaaaaaby boo”? I didn’t think so but thanks for trying your efforts amused me at best.

MorbidOtaku пишет:
How in the Bloody Hell do you know she didn’t PLAN on having this baby?  How very Communist of you! Just throwing her Letter into a pile because you feel that everyone who wants a baby is over-populating theworld!!! I hope you never have children, they would turn out to belittle monsters like you the world does not need something like that!

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