Occasionally I have been known to have conversations that actually make little to no sense, most of which are with bizarre people on the phones.  This evening was but just one:

For the sake of easily identification, I shall be bolded and my caller will be average sized text.

Good Evening Zurich Municipal Kevin Speaking, How can I help?
I wish to register with teletrade, I received a leaftlet when I joined as a premier customer to call this number.
I’m sorry sir but you’ve come through to Zurich, where did you get this number from as we deal with road traffic incidents.
I got it from this leaflet sent from HSBC, it’s red and came in a white envelope!
Well sir, that may be the case, however, you have come through to Zurich on a motor insurance line.
Well I called 0845 *blah blah blah*.
I’m sorry sir there are litterally HUNDREDS of telephone numbers that come in to this building which I don’t have a list for I’m afraid.
But I got this number from the HSBC leaflet!
This may be the case, but we’re not HSBC, we’re ZURICH.  I apologise but you must have the wrong number somewhere.
Well then I don’t see why I’m speaking to you.*
Thank you for calling Zurich, good bye.

* At this point I would have loved to reply: You’ve spent the last 3 minutes challenging me on where I work, I’m not going to give in and say, well SUPPRISE this really is HSBC, happy april fools day now am I?

I actually want to get this call off the recording system and put it on here, it’s UNBELIEVABLE.  The above crappy transcription doesn’t quite show the amount of effort this man went through, even when he DESCRIBED the envelope the leaflet came in.

A number of local councils in Britain have banned their staff from using Latin words, because they say they might confuse people.

Several local authorities have ruled that phrases like “vice versa”, “pro rata”, and even “via” should not be used, in speech or in writing.

But the ban has prompted anger among some Latin scholars.

Professor Mary Beard of Cambridge University said it was the linguistic equivalent of ethnic cleansing.

Some local councils say using Latin is elitist and discriminatory, because some people might not understand it - particularly if English is not their first language.

(more here)

Boredom requires results - this is just one of them.

Ok, maybe they aren’t, as right now I’m sat unshaven in the cold wearing nothing but a scabby t-shirt and my pants (which find them selves covered by scabby trousers).  Buy hey, you can’t buy this kind of entertainment in shops now!

Anyways, today at work, what a pile of poop.  Busy, hecktic and it took 4 hours to get in a position to scoff down a saussage roll, this did not please me at all.

Other than that, literally nothing interesting sparks to mind.  Scary.

So yeah.  Be gone with you now.  I has nothing else to say!

My car has developped a gearbox issue.  This is not good.

EDIT: I also need a shave.

… I’ll transfer your call to the relivant department.  Please enjoy some Justin Timberlake on the hold music.

Oh what a day this has been, I haven’t felt so much hate since 1987, «Die Robo Jungen»as per usual failed to show on a monday.  Probably because of some lame excuse or bollocks reasoning.  But what do I care, I just had to arrange my life to suit his selfish needs.  Woop woop.

I really need to spend some time at home in Brizzal, possibly some point over saturday as I’m off to Corby come Sunday for the Travis Perkins Family fun thing.  Woop.

Right now I think I might go bed like.  Booyaka!

I’m really starting to hate the LiveJournal now days, I remembered when it first started it was all cool and good fun.  I tolerated it for sometime now as a Early Adopter I was immune to the advertisements when they came in, but now, I can not rid my blog of them.  It’s unpossible!  And they’re HEAWGE!

So I reckon I’ll just give up on livejournal and let it die a commercial death, in the void of the commerical internet were it deserves to be, a hollow “community” alone in a dollar filled void.  Much like VOX or TYPEPAD.  I know it’s a bit ritch as I have google ads on my site, but in realistic terms it makes pennies and they aren’t obtrusive.  As for some other magical ads, I think they must be due to estat which reminds me to cough up another couple euros a month to fix that problem.

I’ve also dabbled with an AOL Journal, it seems basic and not as fun as the masterpeice that Кевин.com.ua is at this very moment in time.  However, once I can afford to purchase my WINS Server from Santronics I might fully downgrade and we’ll see in what non-commericalised text based internet that takes us.

We await in glee.

Remeber that post some time ago, please find attached the final conversation. Officially Keiran is a complete prick and I don’t know why. I might just punch him.

Kevin look who it isn’t
8:56pm

Kieran Bye Bye
8:56pm

Kevin so we’re not talking smack today then
8:58pm

Kieran
i really can not think of any1 else in the whole of the world that i would less like to talk to then you!! please leave me alone, if youre guna be a twat!
8:59pm

Kevin excuse me? I think I’ve got a supreme right to be a twat to you. You have alot of explaining to do. Getting threatening texts at all hours and being harassed on facebook. WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? Explain.
9:02pm

Kieran Bye Bye, have a nice life 9:03pm

Kevin
So I’m not going to get an explanation or an apology. Kieran, you my friend are the twat. And when you have the balls to tell me what your fucking issue is then I think that status can be re-visited. Until then enjoy prickdom.

I only use this as a topic as I had to log-in to the BSFN server to post to my website to post because it was like LOL OPERATION ABORTED so it started to show some stupid IE based web page blocking me out of Wordpress like you’d expect from a Microsoft product.

But this isn’t the topic of this blog post at the moment.  You see this is one of the few moments I have to be able to sit down have a few too many drinks and barf my useless jib jab on to this fantastic piece of internet space junk I call my web page.  Oh web page how lonely you must have been without my generous input and only twitters to keep one occupied.

I’ve been thinking over the past couple days that it’s so amazing that only about a month ago I was sat in Toronto, driving that crazy left hand drive car paying $35 a tank for petrol driving to and from all sorts of places being a free homogay and making mouth love in city parks to nice gentlemen.  Now I’m back to the rut that is my life. Eat, sleep, work, eat, sleep, work.  It’s not cool but that’s how it all happens really.  Humanity is a joke after all.

New and wonderful things are happening. I got really fat again, funny that, so I’m thinking I might go vegetarian as the stuff I eat is not just meaty and good, but it’s ALWAYS crappy meaty foods.  Maybe the only way to be thinspirational is by cutting meat, thus you cut the fats, craps and red foods from one’s diet.  I only thought of this as we come back to the Toronto conundrum, I stopped by a veg stand in a park and they had this week challenge going.  So I reckon I’ll do it. Two months too late you green eating hippy bastards!  But I’ll do it!  As of like right this very second I’m a vegetarian for a week POOF.

Other less exciting news is that I’m missing my Melville, bless, I was foraging through the control centre last night and saw his little book of notes as provided by the Bayly (still to be used by anybody in the building) and I saw it.  So of course I’m going to kut now (a carrot!).  Lawl.

Other than that we still want to do the Russian thing.  New course starts this month. So I must join.

Other less exciting things include:
I own an Apple Newton (4 no.), I bought two new games for the Amiga and I have started to collect Chinese Hell Money. w00t.

At 6am in Canada time I get a call. I AM THE NATWEST ANTI-FRAUD ROBODROID WOMAN, PLEASE ENTER ON YOUR KEYPAD THE FOLLOWING ITEMS OF SECURITY. I did. It failed. So the bitch put me on hold and about 1 minute later (80p in real money) I get a human. The call only took a further 45 seconds. Why didn’t they send a human to call me in the first place?!?! I feel I might complain, their robots are starting to annoy me.

The end of it all, was a dodgy cashpoint that couldn’t fulfil my transactions so cancelled it which then started the fraud system process of locking off my card. The problem being - THIS WAS OVER 3 DAYS AGO.

But at least the fraud system works. Sort of.